Saturday, October 30, 2004
Where do we go from here?
I think I am lost.
I can't say for sure.
I know physically where I am.
But mentally and spiritually I am somewhere in the unknown.
Remember growing up - the dreams we all had for ourselves - find a husband, the perfect job, have the cutest kids that were absolutely perfect, write a novel the wins the Pulitzer prize and live happily ever after in the house with the white picket fence.
I lost that dream.
And I can't find my new one.
My man can't /or won't make a commitment even though he says he loves me, and wants to spend the rests of his life with me.
My job sucks and I really don't want to be there.
I have lost all of my creative juices, the will to write has been sucked out of me.
And I am terrified that any children I have will be terrorized with the same mental illness I have.
AND
I'm stuck in the basement of a house with a friendly neighbor fence... with a dog that rams into doors. *daffy bastard*
Where do I go from here?
I can't say for sure.
I know physically where I am.
But mentally and spiritually I am somewhere in the unknown.
Remember growing up - the dreams we all had for ourselves - find a husband, the perfect job, have the cutest kids that were absolutely perfect, write a novel the wins the Pulitzer prize and live happily ever after in the house with the white picket fence.
I lost that dream.
And I can't find my new one.
My man can't /or won't make a commitment even though he says he loves me, and wants to spend the rests of his life with me.
My job sucks and I really don't want to be there.
I have lost all of my creative juices, the will to write has been sucked out of me.
And I am terrified that any children I have will be terrorized with the same mental illness I have.
AND
I'm stuck in the basement of a house with a friendly neighbor fence... with a dog that rams into doors. *daffy bastard*
Where do I go from here?
Dragonfly 10/30/2004 11:38:00 PM