... and into the Light

i have to do this in point form... just because it's too messed up.

• woke up today bitter, couldn't stand noise, contact, the animals... nothin.
• the phone rang and I yelled at it... not the person calling - but the phone. (yup - that's irritable)
• got ready and went to my appointment, she is starting me on a new medication, the old one was giving me effed up side effects.
• got yelled at to make sure I call if I react to the new medication.
• now I am wired... relieved, tired, full of energy, mentally everywhere. Not hypomanic... just relieved I guess.

Yup.. it's been a weird day.

Oh yeah - I took the long way home, drove along the Niagara Parkway home and enjoyed the fall colours. My thought was I want to see something pretty. It was.

All without the radio on.

Labels: babble, bipolar

I felt it this morning. That huge weight, boulder-like, slightly shifted, not falling to the ground, still there, yet not as immenselly heavy. So different from the moods of late. And so unexpected considering I am on the smallest possible dose of an anti-depressant, soon to be off it, and soon to be starting another, more interesting drug.
Today was easier. I don't know wh. Nor do I question.
It was easier to laugh, easier to sing, I worked out for a couple of minutes (then my muscles in my legs mutinied), it is going to take me forever to get skinny again. But it really doesn't matter. Because today was easier.
Unfortunately when the weight shifted, a plethora of oxygen-filled blood rushed to my brain, infecting it with a months worth of "air" causing some... well... loss of cognitive function. hehe he

It's OK. No one was injured, no new scrapes were inflicted upon Maggie, it's all good.

Labels: babble, bipolar, rock

I can't believe it.
The last 2 days I was thinking the depression has gotten worse, and I'm bored.
Restless, annoyed tired and BORED!
I guess it took 11 months for me to tire of being home. Now, even though I am bored, I do not want to go out side. I don't really want to be on the computer and I am beginning to dislike tv.
So what to do?
Clean? lol - that's not entertaining. It's more agravating than anything.

On the upside. I am not hot anymore. Finally, the medication has been reduced enough that I am not hot. Of course I still get hot when my anxiety is acting up, but right now, I am actually cold enough to warrant pants and socks! Hurray!

Oh well... I guess I will go do the dishes and then shower.
I am going out tonight.
That should be entertaining.