... and into the Light

No, my dear readers, I wasn't attacked with bug spray - although I did purchase some today.

It was one of those weeks where I allowed real life to keep me away from the computer and played PS2 a couple of times instead. Good times!

The landlord was here, replacing things.
I was at aerobics (my new passion)... aquafit is fun!

Plus, for some reason work takes up a surprising amount of my time, and unlike some, I do not have the ability to blog at work... although I really think that would free up a lot of time at home.

AND for those of you who are slightly curious - I have not cleaned the bird cage - poor Georgie... but do you know how hot it is outside?

So I am off to see what you all have been up to - and then I am signing off again... hopefully I will return soon.
Ciao for now...
DF

I am back to being me.
I am carefree, but not reckless.
I am ready to face the world, kick up my heals. See my REAL friends and have some fun and I am doing that.
Tonight movies with a friend.
Tomorrow - the day with my bestest bud FF!! WHOO HOO!!!

I slept really well last night.
So well infact I woke up to the alarm clock, was ready to yell at it, when I realized I had slept the whole night for the first time in weeks... then I made a mad dash for the bathroom with a smile on my face (followed closely by the cat - have I mentioned she's psychotic, oh...OK!) Definitely something I could get used too (the sleeping - the cat is amusing and annoying)

Oh - and I am an aunt for the second time. My brother called last night. Allison Mary was born yesterday morning and "looks like you but we named her Allison anyway. HEHEHE" He's an idiot. Yup it runs in the family... I can't wait to see her, and Julia, of course... I haven't forgotten the first niece. She's cute too...

Oh whatever...

1. I got a good night sleep. The best in 2 weeks. Yes, I got up once to pee (naturally, I have to take medication with lots of water before bed, the water has to go somewhere! duh) but I managed to fall back into deep sleep after that which I haven't done in (what seems like) FOREVER!!! AND that is a good thing!

2. I went to water aerobics after work. I am exhausted and I have no stress left. I laughed and giggled and had a great time. I also think my muscles are going to scream bloody murder tomorrow when I try to use them... but it was FUN!!! I will go again. Tuesday after work!

THE comment...

my cat is psychotic.

That is all.

so I work in a casino.
There are slot machines there.
Themed slot machines.

Imagine if you will... a machine with an irish theme. Leprauchans, Irish jigs, four leaf covers, pots of gold, rainbows... you get the picture now...

This machine is facing the carousel where I work... a lot!
There are only so many times you can here "Welcome te Rainbow-land!" in that stupid cockney accent before you want to stangle somebody!
Then the bosses decided (who gave them brains) to put in 3 more within 6 feet of eachother.

Today all of them kept hitting the bonus round simultaneously...so I heard "welcome welcome welcome te Rainbow-land" very loudly from 3 different dirrections... and all 3 patrons found the stupid ass leprauchan at the same time so I heard "oh ye found me, I guess I'll be keepin' me gold all to meself"... also from 3 different directions...

I was in HELL!
Worst of all...
I switched windows with another girl to go there today...
Full blown idiot mode today!

For MooCow.

Once upon a time there was a sad little girl who lived in a tiny village with her brother, sister, father and evil step mother. (How evil? Evil enough to be called evil. Now shush.) Ahem... where was I? The sad little girl was expected to cook, and clean for the entire family and then do her homework. Certain grades were also expected and the punishments were severe.
The one thing the girl could safely say about growing up in that household is that she knew exactly what was expected of her and everyone left her alone. But there was no love. No hugs. No kisses. No kind words ever.

Except for one day when she was 15. The sad little girl wanted to escape for a weekend. So she called her mother. Her mother started a fight with the girls father using the girl as a go-between. The girl started crying and ran to her room.

The evil step-mother followed and sat on the girls bed and *hugged* her until the tears stopped. The girls father joined them (after yelling at the mother for a few minutes). For the first time in the sad girls memory she was being treated with kindness and affection and to this day I have never forgotten it.

Sometimes, a little *touch* is just the thing you need. Be greatful that there are people around that want to show you that kind of affection.

I found this on Domnall's page and thought I'd try it. Not sure how it will look on the background though.

You scored as Ginny Weasley. You definitely share your mother's (Molly Weasley) fiery resolve and slowly but surely people are learning to respect you because of it. Severus Snape 80% Ginny Weasley 80% Albus Dumbledore 70% Harry Potter 70% Hermione Granger 60% Ron Weasley 60% Remus Lupin 60% Sirius Black 55% Draco Malfoy 25% Lord Voldemort 10% Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...? created with QuizFarm.com

It is now Monday.
I have finished Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I finished it 2 hours ago.
It made me cry.

Stupid book.

Duh!?!
of course I'm gonna read it again.
What?
Like you wouldn't.

HarryPotter and The Half-Blood Prince is in my hands and I have 6 weeks to read it before it fly's off to Australia with Sarah...
so you may not hear from me much...
oh who am I kidding I'm the queen of multi-tasking and not sleeping!!!

But I got it I got it I got it I got it I got it!!!

hehehehe

I stole this from Firefly and would love for everyone to play along here too... it's a silly game of questions but we haven't had one of these in a while.

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?

*insert evil grin*

Then retreat into fantasy for a couple of minutes.

Why is JC laughing?
Oh... I'm at work and not alone...
right...

DF walks away...

First realization.
I need a man.
And have discovered bizarre duct tape fetish...
weird.

I had had a rough day and I could go for a walk at night, down to the beach and lie on the rocks right at the waters edge. Listening to the waves lapping gently on the shore would sooth my frazzled nerves. I could sort through the chaos of the day and all the bitterness and angry, frustration and tears would be washed away with those waves.

Some days the waves would be big and loud. I wouldn't have to be there long.

I could get lost in the billions of stars that shone in the sky. Where I lived, before Niagara Falls there was one street light and it made no difference on the night sky. The stars were amazing over the water. They carried me forever.

Tonight... is one of the nights I want to go home.
Not because I need to rehash the day and get rid of the frustrations. I am actually doing fine.

I miss the stars.
I miss the waves.
I miss the lake.

I have the best spot for watching the stars and the satellites streak past, that is protected from the wind (although with the heat today it isn't necessary).
I would love to lie there for an hour, and get lost in the stars. Listen to the waves. I can almost here them lapping gently on the shore.

Mostly it's the stars I miss.
I haven't really seen them in years.

One is angry because I haven't posted about him. (He is disappointed as he says he is my boyfriend and I don't talk about him.) There... you have your mention teddybear. Do you feel better?

Seriously though.
Friendships become so fragile when they should be so strong.
During tough times, the wrong words, spoken in anger, can ruin years of trust and care.
Taking the time to help someone in need can turn against you.

I have a friend who has left. Travelled across the country to be with her man.
At the end of the summer another friend is flying across the world to go to school.
Two of my best friends have all but abandoning me in a 2 month span. It is a little hard to take. But they are still my friends. It just means that getting together for tea or a movie is going to be a little difficult.


My godchild once asked mt the difference between a friend and an acquaintance.
I told her that a friend is someone you would tell your secrets too, and trust that they wouldn't tell anyone else. And that person would tell you their secrets too.
An aquaintance is someone that you chat with but not share every detail of your life. There's no trust there.

At that point she understood why I wasn't 'friends' with her biological father.
(She's very smart).

I choose my friends carefully.
I take the time to figure out who I can trust before I truly open up to my friends.
It is a long process.
I haven't made a mistake yet.

Friendship is a funny thing.
Friends can help you, or they can hinder you.
Maybe they need to be saved, and you have a guiding nature.
You choose the ones that complement you. Or the ones that you want to be.
Regardless, there is something about that person that attracts you to them. And they to you.

Friendships need to be nurtured and they need to be nourished.

I miss my friend who has gone.
And I don't want the one who is leaving to go away.

And they both know it.

Damn...
in my head this was a happy post.
oh well.
Too late now.