... and into the Light

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Mystery Men

At first I though it innocent enough... The wind took our garbage can and blew it down the street. A neighbour absconded it and adopted it as their own. Disappointing, but... frankly, it happens.

But this morning. I left for work and noticed that the laundry basket that we use for a second blue box was missing from the end of the driveway. The actual bluebox was there - still filled with the many recyclables that we had acquired over the last 2 weeks. Yet, missing from it's side was the white laundry basket filled to the brim with empty water bottles and other plastics.
The garbage truck had gone by - but not the recycling truck - and yes they are 2 separate trucks here... But the laundry basket/bluebox was gone, it's side kick was there.

Where did it go? I mean who steals recycling... Why would you want it?
And where did the garbage can go? The day it disappeared I had put it back beside the house before going to work... So it had to have been knocked over and blown down the driveway and then it disappeared... Gone but not forgotten. And not seen since.

What kind of freakish neighbour's do I have that they steal my garbage can and my recycle bin... I mean really! Get your own garbage and make your own recyclables... It isn't that hard!!

I wish I had x-ray vision to search the neighbourhood for our possessions... Cause this is just weird.
Dragonfly 11/29/2005 11:10:00 PM | 4 beautiful people telling me what they think |

Monday, November 28, 2005

Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood

There's nothing better than coming home after a long day and taking off your bra.
I have been looking forward to that for the last 4 hours.

The first half of the day wasn't so bad - but as the day wore on... oh my.

I would have taken it off in the car (I have done it before) but I wear a long sleeve T-shirt under my uniform and that would have involved stripping - and frankly, it is a tad too cold for that kind of action.

So I had to wait.

But... relaxation and relief is mine at last.

Ya-Ya!!!
Dragonfly 11/28/2005 08:26:00 PM | 3 beautiful people telling me what they think |

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Swim Fan

All I wanted to do was save the frog.
It was stranded at the bottom of the deep end.

Instead.. I got a lung - full of pool water.

I think I might take private swim lessons.
I've never had those before.

Forget school...
The poor frog will be done there forever.

It's not that I don't know how to swim... I can tread water for an hour. I can 'swim' a couple of laps. But I have no form or endurance.
I spent my summers swimming in a lake - with WAVES!!!
I can swim... I just can't pick things up from the bottom of the pool.

But I love the water.

I wonder if Jen will have fished the frog out of the deep end before the 9 am aquafit class in the morning.

*****Update: I SAVED THE FROG!!!!
This morning at 10 am the rescue occured.
Of course, I had to 'cheat' to do it, by stepping into the pool off of the deck - but the frog has been saved!!!
I am very proud of myself.
Dragonfly 11/24/2005 11:07:00 PM | 2 beautiful people telling me what they think |

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

PhoneBooth

7:24AM - Ring Ring

*really cool dream about... OK I have no idea what.. but it was a really good dream...*

?What the heck is that noise?
?Where is that coming from?

I am the first person to admit that I am not the most coherent person first thing in the morning... but the phone ringing - in the other room really threw me off this morning... Just a tad.

I managed to figure out what it was as he answering machine picked it up but the person calling hung up.

So I decided to go to the bathroom.
Heck, I was up anyway.

As I was walking by the kitchen table the phone rang again.
The portable phone was sitting there so I picked it up and pushed talk.

BEEP BEEP
click

no battery.

OK...
if it's that's important... they'll call back.

RING RING

So I answered it - on the other phone. (coherency had returned by this point. WHOOOHOO!!!)

Hi, DF. It's A from work. Can you come in for 8 or 9 this morning?
*looks at clock, 7:28AM*
DF: Um... 8? No...
A: Can you be here for 9?
DF: Yeah, I think so.
A: Great see you then. As soon as you can get here. OK?

So... I go in to work... 2 hours early. Short an hour and a half sleep.

And A patron called me pleasant.
I didn't know whether to thank him or slap him...
Dragonfly 11/22/2005 10:11:00 PM | 2 beautiful people telling me what they think |

Monday, November 21, 2005

Hide and Seek

Perhaps there is a reason for the misguided nature of this.
I have no idea. Really.


I kicked the guy I am 'crushing' on at work today.
He was laughing at me.
So I kicked him.
Hard. On the shin.
My foot hurt after.
He totally deserved it.
Funny thing is... He agreed.


I sent my sister some Pear White Tea today.
She should get it in 1 to 3 weeks.
I have to buy some more.
Cause Firefly gets hers on Wednesday.
Yup - I spread my addictions around!!!


Have you ever had a dream about someone and been mad at them the next day because of something they said or did in the dream?
I was accused of giving my friend a glare today. He was the one who interrupted my dreams. So I told him off. He said he couldn't help it... he "wanders". I wasn't angry after that.
Dreams are funny that way.


misguided ramblings ended... for today
Dragonfly 11/21/2005 10:37:00 PM | 3 beautiful people telling me what they think |

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Sleeping Beau-Tea

I'll admit it. I get a little obsessed with certain things. And I take it to the extreme.

So I was walking through Wal-Mart... stupid Wal-mart gets me everytime.
And because I was waiting for a prescription, I was hanging out in the pharmacy section... Looking at the interesting natural selections they have there... hidden away. And I saw some tea. Perfectly Pear White Tea. (White Tea is supposed to be higher in antioxidents than green tea and better for you... but whatever)... the flavour sounded intriguing! So after picking up the box and putting it down 3 times - I finally put it in my cart... And came home yesterday with it. And proceeded to drink 5 cups.

Yup...
It's that addicting.
I love it.

There is caffeine in it and since I don't normally partake in caffeinated beverages I found myself ... Well ... Awake.
I finally 'came down' around 1 am and awoke on the couch at 2 am.

I limited myself to one glass today... I have to work tomorrow.

hehehehe
Dragonfly 11/19/2005 09:27:00 PM | 3 beautiful people telling me what they think |

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Snow Falling on Cedars

Snow, what the?!?!

Damn it... now I have to brush of the car...

If it wasn't so damn pretty I'd be pissed...

oh... and I should mention... this was after aquafit so I was leaving with my hair wrapped in a towel and still slightly damp.
I wish I had a camera to take a picture. It was nice.
Dragonfly 11/17/2005 09:51:00 PM | 6 beautiful people telling me what they think |

Office Space

The day began like any other... if you consider today was the shift bid at work and I had the strangest dreams about it all night.

Work was a barrel full of emotions. First I was calm and collected. Then after talking to a coworker or two I was slightly anxious, the plan I had devised seemed to be in jeopardy... but that's fine, I thought. There's always the back-up. It came my time to pick. Nat got the LAST early days spot, P got my Late Dats spot with Fri/sat off and I chose Late days with Tuesday/Wednesday off as I figured those would be relatively good days for taking classes whether it be night school or in university...

But then the adreneline hangover hit... and I got a headache... a bad one.
I mean I was shaking and the light was paining me intensely... and the bells and whistles were splitting my brain in half. I was the grumpiest girl in the world.
Until I smartened up and took one of those Halloween Candies for pain that I have in my Purse!!! I mean Seriously - what was I thinking??? It would pass on it's own? DUH!!!

Needless to say, I felt better in about 40 minutes.

Then I had to deal with people saying all day:
"yuck, Tuesday, Wednesday. That sucks. Sorry."
and my response:
"It's OK... it was part of my plan. I 'm happy about it. Really."
I don't think they believe me.
I know they think I'm on crack.
But it's all part of the plan.
And I'm not on crack.
Really.
Dragonfly 11/17/2005 09:29:00 PM | 0 beautiful people telling me what they think |

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

The Fellowship of the Ring

Good support is hard to find.
And I am not talking about a good bra, although, finding a good bra can be quite the task as well.

I'm thinking more along the lines of emotional support. Those that are there to support you, hold your hands, give you a hug that may make your day just a little easier.

For me... I have my 2 therapists... Yup 2 people... I am that crazy... One gives me the drugs and we talk, the other gives me coping techniques and they both work together. Quite the set-up actually. It is nice walking into the office of one and her knowing what chaos may have ensued in my life as they have had their meeting. I can just continue with the story.

At work, I have my friend Mario. He is always there for a good hug. Somedays (like today) when I am not feeling good, he is there to give me a little cuddle, and tell me that it's all gonna be OK. Other days, he is just good for an ego boost.
There's also Mel, Lisa, and Nat... they are great too... I wish I had more time to hang with them outside of work.

I feel like I have my own personal fellowship... hehehe (see Firefly - you have to take these movies back)...
My friends are with me as I make this journey called life.

Firefly, BondGirl and LondonLee are always there for me, for laughs and giggles, for helping solve a problem or two, or for just chatting about absolutely nothing.

There really isn't a reason for this post... I was just thinking about where I would be this week without the support I have gotten from everyone in my circle.

I had therapy.
I talked to Firefly, BondGirl and LL.
I got my hug from Mario.
Mel and I chatted. As did Nat and I.
And of course, I have my blogs - I would be so much less sane without being able to babble incessantly here (or on Dischord for that matter).
And I feel better.

I can't imagine trying to get through life alone.

Thanks.
Dragonfly 11/15/2005 10:42:00 PM | 2 beautiful people telling me what they think |

Monday, November 14, 2005

Finding Neverland

Getting up earlier than normal really throws off your day.
All day long I was thinking "Damn, I could have slept for at least another hour". So now... I am going to stay up and watch TV... cause, I get to sleep later tomorrow morning than I did this morning.

But I find it curious how all day the work never crept in to my thoughts:
I am never going to make it through today.
This day will never end.
Never come back here, idiots!!! (some people are really dumb)
Never again will I agree to an 8:30 appointment...
I am never going to survive on day shift.

But as the day wore on (and very slowly I might add) I found that I was surviving and that the day wasn't all that bad, even if I am really tired.

Regardless, I am looking forward to sleeping in...
Dragonfly 11/14/2005 08:24:00 PM | 1 beautiful people telling me what they think |

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

I finally did it...
Actually I did 2 things today that I have been continually putting off... But I finally did them today.

I went shopping.
I bought myself a pair of pants (that fit!!!) 2 sweaters and 2 long sleeved t-shirts (for under my uniforms)... And it only took my 35 minutes to spend a days pay!!! WHOOHOO!!!

and the other thing...
I went for a walk... a long walk.
I walked for an hour. Along the Niagara River. It was gorgeous today.
I only stopped because I had to go to the bathroom. (stupid water and the sound of the falls doesn't really help much either)
So I went home and decided I wasn't done walking yet.
SO I walked to Blockbuster to return a movie.
That took an hour and 10 minutes....
I walked so long my brain stopped all inner dialogue... I love that.

It isn't as if I was thinking about anything important... I was creating a really bad fictional story... and I guess it was boring me... so I didn't even notice that it had stopped and I wasn't thinking... I just noticed that I was near the bank and the last thing I remember was Starbucks...

***Oh... and it looks like it puked Christmas at Starbucks... they have all the holiday merchandise and decorations out already... I may not go back... I still don't like Christmas... but whatever...

...I wish I didn't have to work tomorrow. I'd love to walk again. But this time I'd bring a big bottle of water with me.
Dragonfly 11/12/2005 11:19:00 PM | 4 beautiful people telling me what they think |

Friday, November 11, 2005

There's Something About Mary

It's my weekend...WHOOHOO!!! I finally get to sleep in... NOT!!! This is my day for Dr's Appointments or aquafit... Whichever fits. This morning was the doctor. So I got up, showered and was just about to start drying my hair when the phone rang.
It's Mary... My doctors receptionist. Dr. Has the flu, she won't be in today. Can we reschedule? How's Monday.

I feel bad for Mary... making a hundred chaotic calls first thing in the morning to patients telling them that the Dr. they rely on for so many things is not available.

Thank goodness the bad week I was having is over and I got some sense knocked into me. I am feeling much better now.

But it's too late to go to aquafit... and I am awake... so no sleeping in either.

But... do I clean the house, which I don't usually like to do after I shower (it's a before showering activity)? OR Do I go shopping, which I was going to do after my appointment as my Dr's office is near the big, cool mall?

It is too early for me to make these kinds of decisions on my own. I need a driving force to get motivated and get my butt out the door. Or get moving.

But my head is cold from the wetness of my hair so I think I will continue with the drying of it...
While I ponder this question of... Crap, now what?
Dragonfly 11/11/2005 09:23:00 AM | 4 beautiful people telling me what they think |

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Girl interrupted

I have a friend. I love her to death... *heheheh... That's funny considering the way things have been going lately - but I digress*... We talk about everything. And I mean everything. There is nothing that is off limits between us. And our conversations are usually quite entertaining and informative, although sometimes we don't talk as often as we should... you know life gets in the way.

So a couple of weeks ago, she calls... I will call her L - for Loser... She knows who she is (and she reads this blog!!!!) hehehehe... So L calls... and she says...

L: The weirdest thing. My vibrator has disappeared. I can't find it.
DF: What do you mean disappeared? Where were you the last time you used it?
L: Well. That's the thing. It's always on the bedside table... and it isn't there. I've looked everywhere... Trust me... I've looked.
DF: Um.. have you asked your BF? (yup... very tempted to type LBF there... but didn't... hehehehe)
L: He swears he hasn't seen it.
L: I think I am going to go insane with out it...

OK... Seriously, L, I love her... totally dependent on her vibrator... But insanity... Really.. That might be pushing it!

I get a call from L... last night...
The update...

here's what happened.
L dozed off while playing with her favourite toy... And when the BF came home she jumped up and in her surprised state HID the vibrator under some towels.

DF: Why did you hide it?
L: Um... He woke me up... I was not awake and therefore not thinking.
DF: YOU really are a loser.
L: Yup... But I have my Vibrator back... Thank god!
DF: It was only missing for a week.
L: The LONGEST WEEK OF MY LIFE!!!!

I swear that was the funniest thing she has ever said... ever!
Dragonfly 11/09/2005 10:31:00 PM | 3 beautiful people telling me what they think |

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

There must be a better way!

I get it, OK!
Seriously.

Thanks, for the wake up call.
But there has got to be a better way to get my attention.

Five and a half years ago my best friend lost her battle with cancer. We talked about her coming back to visit after her passing. And At the funeral I actually said to her "You better haunt me you bitch!"
OK... looking back. It may not have been the smartest thing to do. Since I have seen her a number of times and had to endure weeks of open cupboards and pictures being turned around.

But we came to an understanding.
If someone was in trouble, or something needed to be taken care of, then she would give me a normal sign.

This week, the drawers of my dresser were open... And then... BANG... the mild concussion Sunday night at work.
So I called R last night... and she's fine. So it's not her. I figure it is me.
Bec is telling me that I need to take time for me.
And decided that I needed a crack on the noggin' in the meantime...
some best friend...

OK FF... you're next.
Bring it on!!! hehehehe
Dragonfly 11/08/2005 08:52:00 PM | 4 beautiful people telling me what they think |

Monday, November 07, 2005

Chaos or Beauty... You tell me?

I think I am growing as a person... Or I am just learning to separate things from what I can control within my life and what I cannot.
Besides I know I am at a completely different place now emotionally than I was last year at this time and in this exact same situation.

We are having a shift bid at work.
That means that, once again, my days off and my scheduled shift are possibly going to change. Actually... I should say... My shift and days are are most definitely going to change.
Now last year I was having insane panic attacks everytime the subject came up, I was in tears at the thought of losing Fridays and Saturdays off - because of the changes that would ensue. I was devastated at the thought of losing my shift (I was on afternoons then) and I was angry that we were even having the shift bid to begin with.

This time... I am calm. I understand the reasons behind managements decision to have another bid (even if I think it is stupid) and I accept the changes that are going to occur.
I think that my response to the shift bid this time says a lot for the way I have grown and changed over the last year...

or....

I just have so many other things going on I really don't care anymore...
Maybe that knock on the noggin' knocked some sense into me... Damn... Is that all I needed?
If ever I start freaking out again... I give my BFF's permission to smack me on the back of the head again!
Bring it on, I say.
Dragonfly 11/07/2005 08:06:00 PM | 2 beautiful people telling me what they think |

Friday, November 04, 2005

Kids say the Darndest things!

Imagine if you will... Halloween day... standing around at work... waiting for the people to come buy their tokens and exchange their money.
You know... the usual....

Jenn comes in... ready to work... or so we thought.
DF: How's it going, Jenn?
Jenn: My back and neck are killing me. I am so sore.
DF: Did you take anything?
Jenn: No, I forgot.
DF: Um... how can you forget?
Jenn: I was busy before I left the house and I forgot...
DF: Do you want something? 'Cause I have Advil, Extra Strength liquid Gels... you know the good kind.
Jenn: Oh yeah.. those are the best.
DF: Yeah... they're like Halloween candy, but for Pain!!!
Jenn: Damn! That was good! Hehehe


sometimes I kill me!

I think I should copywrite that... that's got A list material written all over it!!!!!
copywrite... copywrite... copywrite....
hehehe
Dragonfly 11/04/2005 11:59:00 PM | 3 beautiful people telling me what they think |

Nothing of interest...

Just trying to fix a messed up post...
I hope it works
Dragonfly 11/04/2005 11:37:00 AM | 1 beautiful people telling me what they think |