Saturday, October 01, 2005
From the Desk Of Shadow, Royal Feline of the Manor
To Whom it may Concern
I feel it necessary to relay a few of my concerns of late.
1. I am deeply dissatisfied with the amount of food in my dish and feel the the aforementioned dish should never be more than half full and the remnants of said dish should not be topped up - but disposed of before being refilled. I WILL NOT eat stale food.
Or, as you can see, I shall continue to leave the stale bits scattered around the kitchen floor for your bare-footed walking pleasure.
2. I am not your plaything. I will not play at your convenience. You are my pet and you will play at mine. I do not care that you want to sleep, or eat, or go to work... I have been sleeping and have my energy when I have it. You will play when I give the command - which by the way is one very shall chirp-like meow.
3. I do no like to be picked up. EVER. Not when I am sleeping. Not when you are using the toilet. Not for any reason. Although the shoulder massage is quite nice.
4. I walk on you when you are sleeping because I want something... GET up and follow me.
5. This is my house. I don't like the vacuum. Don't do that while I am sleeping or eating.
6. The bird is my possession as he lives in my house. I'll chase him if I please. I have other toys onto he floor - if he's on the floor he's mine too!
7. The laser pointer is fun... Use it more often.
8. Children annoy me. They break every rule. Do not let them in the house.
9. I only scratch the couch because you clip my toenails. Stop clipping my toenails and I'll leave the couch alone.
10. Catnip and treats are meant to be given daily... DAILY!!!
11. My litter box is gross... Do something about it.
12. Your working interferes with my cuddle time. Don't go anymore.
your cooperation in these matters is expected and any deviation will result in more scratching and night wakings.
Shadow
I feel it necessary to relay a few of my concerns of late.
1. I am deeply dissatisfied with the amount of food in my dish and feel the the aforementioned dish should never be more than half full and the remnants of said dish should not be topped up - but disposed of before being refilled. I WILL NOT eat stale food.
Or, as you can see, I shall continue to leave the stale bits scattered around the kitchen floor for your bare-footed walking pleasure.
2. I am not your plaything. I will not play at your convenience. You are my pet and you will play at mine. I do not care that you want to sleep, or eat, or go to work... I have been sleeping and have my energy when I have it. You will play when I give the command - which by the way is one very shall chirp-like meow.
3. I do no like to be picked up. EVER. Not when I am sleeping. Not when you are using the toilet. Not for any reason. Although the shoulder massage is quite nice.
4. I walk on you when you are sleeping because I want something... GET up and follow me.
5. This is my house. I don't like the vacuum. Don't do that while I am sleeping or eating.
6. The bird is my possession as he lives in my house. I'll chase him if I please. I have other toys onto he floor - if he's on the floor he's mine too!
7. The laser pointer is fun... Use it more often.
8. Children annoy me. They break every rule. Do not let them in the house.
9. I only scratch the couch because you clip my toenails. Stop clipping my toenails and I'll leave the couch alone.
10. Catnip and treats are meant to be given daily... DAILY!!!
11. My litter box is gross... Do something about it.
12. Your working interferes with my cuddle time. Don't go anymore.
your cooperation in these matters is expected and any deviation will result in more scratching and night wakings.
Shadow
Dragonfly 10/01/2005 12:56:00 PM
1 Comments:
Yeah, you are now a officialy one of those scary cat-ladies. Congrats!
