Saturday, October 01, 2005
Response to Shadow
Dearest Shadow
Thank you for your wonderful insight.
I have to respond to your points one at a time.
1. Your food: Darlin', you are too picky. You barely eat as it is. How can I justify filling your dish when you barely eat a fifth of it twice a day... smarten up.. It goes stale because you take your sweet ass time eating and picking at it all day. And I watch you spit the fresh food out on floor too. Stop it it's gross.
2. I disagree. You are my plaything, my confidant and my foot warmer. You play at my convenience and will sleep when I am at work or when I am sleeping. All other hours are mine to do with you as I see fit.
3. I will pick you up when ever I damn well please... and you will like it. The purrs are greatly appreciated.
4. I throw you across the room when you walk on me when you wake me up. I do appreciate you telling me my bladder is full, however, I do have the ability to wake myself up for that, so cut it out.
5. I don't vacuum for my pleasure. I vacuum to annoy you when you are sleeping as you should be awake when I am home... See rule #2.
6. No - the bird is mine. He's annoying too - but neither one of us is allowed to kill, hurt or maim him in any way... I yell at you to leave him alone for your own safety. Beside I don't want to take you to the vet... I cringe at the thought of the emergency vet bill for stitches and shots... Leave him alone. Really.
7. The laser pointer is only fun for a minute and only if you run into the wall. Or spin in circles.
8. Children annoy me too. I agree. Lets not have them in the house. But sometimes - they have to visit. Be nice or hide.
9. Stop scratching me and I'll stop clipping your nails. Oh - and when you stop stalking the bird I'll consider this one too.
10. Catnip makes you crazy. Treats are a treat only if given occasionally. Stop begging - it's unbecoming someone of your stature.
11. I agree. Clean it yourself.
12. I agree. Get a job. Pay the bills and I'll stay home and sleep all day.
One more thing... The shower is not your personal water fountain... Stop going in there after I shower. I am tired of the little kitty footprints all over the bathroom every morning. Although watching you suck the water from my dripping hair is quite amusing.
As long as you cooperate with me, I'll continue to get you your shots and buy you the good food and the nice smelling litter. I'll even through in a couple of mice. Got it... Good.
DF
Thank you for your wonderful insight.
I have to respond to your points one at a time.
1. Your food: Darlin', you are too picky. You barely eat as it is. How can I justify filling your dish when you barely eat a fifth of it twice a day... smarten up.. It goes stale because you take your sweet ass time eating and picking at it all day. And I watch you spit the fresh food out on floor too. Stop it it's gross.
2. I disagree. You are my plaything, my confidant and my foot warmer. You play at my convenience and will sleep when I am at work or when I am sleeping. All other hours are mine to do with you as I see fit.
3. I will pick you up when ever I damn well please... and you will like it. The purrs are greatly appreciated.
4. I throw you across the room when you walk on me when you wake me up. I do appreciate you telling me my bladder is full, however, I do have the ability to wake myself up for that, so cut it out.
5. I don't vacuum for my pleasure. I vacuum to annoy you when you are sleeping as you should be awake when I am home... See rule #2.
6. No - the bird is mine. He's annoying too - but neither one of us is allowed to kill, hurt or maim him in any way... I yell at you to leave him alone for your own safety. Beside I don't want to take you to the vet... I cringe at the thought of the emergency vet bill for stitches and shots... Leave him alone. Really.
7. The laser pointer is only fun for a minute and only if you run into the wall. Or spin in circles.
8. Children annoy me too. I agree. Lets not have them in the house. But sometimes - they have to visit. Be nice or hide.
9. Stop scratching me and I'll stop clipping your nails. Oh - and when you stop stalking the bird I'll consider this one too.
10. Catnip makes you crazy. Treats are a treat only if given occasionally. Stop begging - it's unbecoming someone of your stature.
11. I agree. Clean it yourself.
12. I agree. Get a job. Pay the bills and I'll stay home and sleep all day.
One more thing... The shower is not your personal water fountain... Stop going in there after I shower. I am tired of the little kitty footprints all over the bathroom every morning. Although watching you suck the water from my dripping hair is quite amusing.
As long as you cooperate with me, I'll continue to get you your shots and buy you the good food and the nice smelling litter. I'll even through in a couple of mice. Got it... Good.
DF
Dragonfly 10/01/2005 10:00:00 PM
2 Comments:
Thanks FF- I needed to share some more of her insanity...
and mine!
and mine!
shadow here's another idea. Instead of the shower use the toilet.