Saturday, February 04, 2006
The "DF" Identity
This is how the story goes...
I have been working out like mad... a mad woman obsessed.
I have become addicted to the serenity that occurs while I am on the elliptical or the treadmill for 30 minutes or more...
You see.
My brain is always working.
I am thinking about everything.
My car; the bird; the cat; the book I am reading; work; stupid people that come into work; God or the lack there of; religion as a whole and my personal philosophies; what I want from a man; my man fantasy story. Nothing is out of my minds reach... There are stories that come and go but the come nonetheless.
And it is random...
But on the machines... It all stops.
When I first started going to the gym I had a dialogue that was something like:
"Is this over. I can't do this. Who am I kidding? Oh God... 10 minutes... This is hell... I am going to pass out... I should slow down... If I slow down I will fall down... How long now... 11 minutes... crap.. I should get music.. think of a song... If I had a million dollars... hehehe.. That's funny... stupid but funny... don't look at the time... "
Now.. I think of nothing.. I can read and I can just "book it" and it is bliss.
Nothing.
No thoughts.
Just motion... and the occasional thought of
"I'm thirsty... yum... water! good. Oh.. he's hot!"
The week since Wednesday!
Work, gym, home, sleep.
I have been neglecting the bird. I just don't have the time to spend with him that he wants and I don't want to be home hanging out with him because I'd rather be out at the gym.. So unless I quit my job or bring the bird to the gym I don't know what to do.. maybe my dad will take him!
I was asked out by a guy at the gym... But as he wanted me to go back to his place before going to the bar I declined.. Then didn't go out after getting home.. I told him I was passing, next time for sure. It was a bit frightening... I would not go back to a guys house I don't know without having a friend there for safety. It just doesn't feel right. I'm not that desperate for loving... You know?
My dad told my sister he was coming to visit me for my birthday. And he sounds excited. I am still waiting to see if he calls. Not because I don't think he isn't going to cone, I just don't want to get my hopes up.
My cat decided she didn't like her food. So I bought her a new food.. She stuck her nose up at it too... Then cried cause she is hungry... But she has since decided to eat the new food. Stupid cat!
I have homework to do for my French class... And I have to figure out when to do it... I think tomorrow after work. But that's the superbowl you say...I can watch TV and do homework. I'm an adult!
I have been working out like mad... a mad woman obsessed.
I have become addicted to the serenity that occurs while I am on the elliptical or the treadmill for 30 minutes or more...
You see.
My brain is always working.
I am thinking about everything.
My car; the bird; the cat; the book I am reading; work; stupid people that come into work; God or the lack there of; religion as a whole and my personal philosophies; what I want from a man; my man fantasy story. Nothing is out of my minds reach... There are stories that come and go but the come nonetheless.
And it is random...
But on the machines... It all stops.
When I first started going to the gym I had a dialogue that was something like:
"Is this over. I can't do this. Who am I kidding? Oh God... 10 minutes... This is hell... I am going to pass out... I should slow down... If I slow down I will fall down... How long now... 11 minutes... crap.. I should get music.. think of a song... If I had a million dollars... hehehe.. That's funny... stupid but funny... don't look at the time... "
Now.. I think of nothing.. I can read and I can just "book it" and it is bliss.
Nothing.
No thoughts.
Just motion... and the occasional thought of
"I'm thirsty... yum... water! good. Oh.. he's hot!"
The week since Wednesday!
Work, gym, home, sleep.
I have been neglecting the bird. I just don't have the time to spend with him that he wants and I don't want to be home hanging out with him because I'd rather be out at the gym.. So unless I quit my job or bring the bird to the gym I don't know what to do.. maybe my dad will take him!
I was asked out by a guy at the gym... But as he wanted me to go back to his place before going to the bar I declined.. Then didn't go out after getting home.. I told him I was passing, next time for sure. It was a bit frightening... I would not go back to a guys house I don't know without having a friend there for safety. It just doesn't feel right. I'm not that desperate for loving... You know?
My dad told my sister he was coming to visit me for my birthday. And he sounds excited. I am still waiting to see if he calls. Not because I don't think he isn't going to cone, I just don't want to get my hopes up.
My cat decided she didn't like her food. So I bought her a new food.. She stuck her nose up at it too... Then cried cause she is hungry... But she has since decided to eat the new food. Stupid cat!
I have homework to do for my French class... And I have to figure out when to do it... I think tomorrow after work. But that's the superbowl you say...I can watch TV and do homework. I'm an adult!
Dragonfly 2/04/2006 08:34:00 PM
1 Comments:
hate to tell you fly... this is a comment... *blows raspberry*
