Friday, March 10, 2006
Matchstick Men
Okay.. On a positive note - I am still alive. I feel like I have been wrapped in constraints and held underwater for the last day and a half but - HEY...It's all good!
The allergy medicine the doctor gave me, well, it sucks... My lungs hurt, and it's hard to breathe. So I consulted the pharmacist (as the Dr's office was closed for the day when I called on my break), he told me not to take it for the weekend and to call the doctor on Monday. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow.
In the meantime...
I may have found a permanent home for Shadow.
I adore my cat.
I don't want to give her up.
Unfortunately these are the decisions that I have to make for my own health... My mental well-being isn't too happy about it, but I am getting better.
I do not like what I have to do.
Sacrifice is a necessary part of life, I believe.
I was thinking (a dangerous past-time) I know... That I have other options, there is a spray that removes dander allergins from the cat if you are allergic.. I could look into that.
I have a really good vacuum and I wash my sheets and blankets regularly. I could banish her from the bedroom.
There are alternatives to giving her away.
But I will survive without her, life does go on.
What if I am the biggest hypochondriac there is? And the symptoms I am experiencing are all in my head? Just because the doctor told me I have asthma, suddenly I am having breathing problems. Am I going to turn psychotic too?
That's next on my list...
Back off work, living in a bubble, so nothing can affect me...
Good god...
Maybe then people will have to visit me, we can play Trivial Pursuit and argue about Moops.
That would be a good life.
I could pull it off right now too...
All because I was told I am allergic to cats and dogs and I have asthma.
gggrrrr...
sometimes, I hate my life.
A supervisor (friend) asked me what was wrong today. When I told her the situation she said "Oh My God? DO you need anything else wrong with you? Haven't you got enough?"
It wasn't meant to be mean, she was genuinely concerned and figures I have enough on my plate to add one more thing.. And I have to agree. I got along well enough before, why add one more thing!?! Is it really too much to ask? Can I call the doctor a quack, tell him he's making shit up and ignore everything he said?
Cause that's about the only way I will feel better.
I just want it all to end.
And go back to the way it was.
I'll give up the cat, to not have asthma.
Does that work?
oh...
aaahhh... forget it!
The allergy medicine the doctor gave me, well, it sucks... My lungs hurt, and it's hard to breathe. So I consulted the pharmacist (as the Dr's office was closed for the day when I called on my break), he told me not to take it for the weekend and to call the doctor on Monday. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow.
In the meantime...
I may have found a permanent home for Shadow.
I adore my cat.
I don't want to give her up.
Unfortunately these are the decisions that I have to make for my own health... My mental well-being isn't too happy about it, but I am getting better.
I do not like what I have to do.
Sacrifice is a necessary part of life, I believe.
I was thinking (a dangerous past-time) I know... That I have other options, there is a spray that removes dander allergins from the cat if you are allergic.. I could look into that.
I have a really good vacuum and I wash my sheets and blankets regularly. I could banish her from the bedroom.
There are alternatives to giving her away.
But I will survive without her, life does go on.
What if I am the biggest hypochondriac there is? And the symptoms I am experiencing are all in my head? Just because the doctor told me I have asthma, suddenly I am having breathing problems. Am I going to turn psychotic too?
That's next on my list...
Back off work, living in a bubble, so nothing can affect me...
Good god...
Maybe then people will have to visit me, we can play Trivial Pursuit and argue about Moops.
That would be a good life.
I could pull it off right now too...
All because I was told I am allergic to cats and dogs and I have asthma.
gggrrrr...
sometimes, I hate my life.
A supervisor (friend) asked me what was wrong today. When I told her the situation she said "Oh My God? DO you need anything else wrong with you? Haven't you got enough?"
It wasn't meant to be mean, she was genuinely concerned and figures I have enough on my plate to add one more thing.. And I have to agree. I got along well enough before, why add one more thing!?! Is it really too much to ask? Can I call the doctor a quack, tell him he's making shit up and ignore everything he said?
Cause that's about the only way I will feel better.
I just want it all to end.
And go back to the way it was.
I'll give up the cat, to not have asthma.
Does that work?
oh...
aaahhh... forget it!
Dragonfly 3/10/2006 08:28:00 PM
2 Comments:
I feel for you. Every day Sam and I struggle with allergy and asthma issues that we know would partially clear up if we got rid of our cats. And honestly, if it was just me I think I would make the same decision that you did. But Sam's a major animal person and he just can't. But on nights like last Thursday when I was wheezing and couldn't sleep... It's tough. I hope that your asthma does clear itself up some now :)
You could also bathe the cat regularly it helps wit the dander but the cat won’t like it.