Tuesday, May 23, 2006
How Close is Too Close?
I never see my family.
And by never I mean, there is the once or twice a year gathering that occurs at someone's house within a month of a specific holiday.
These are grand affairs... Lots of food, many people - the whole shebang... Basically hours of prep and clean-up after for the "host" family and travel time for everyone else.
And frankly... I am not a social person.
I mean, I like my family.
I just prefer them in small doses, and preferably just one or 2 members at a time.
My Mom is an hour away... And she is the closest.
She lives with my favourite aunt (and uncle, they are a pair! hehehe).
I IM her instead of chatting on the phone.
My brother is almost 4 hours away... That is a guaranteed overnight visit...
And my sister, recently home from Japan, is 2 hours north of Toronto - a little less if traffic is good. I haven't seen her since she got home, she's insanely busy.
It got me thinking... How close is too close?
Living in the same town, right across the street, you are almost obligated to see your parents daily... Or talk to them everyday... Which is great if you like them... But stopping in all the time, quick dinners, it starts to lose it's intimacy appeal.
Anything over an hour drive becomes an EVENT! It has to be planned, cleaning, someone is driving and there can't be a quick visit... It is a whole afternoon (OH trust me on this one - it's a guaranteed 3 hours) and the guilt if you try to leave before that - cause they never see you...
I figure - within a larger city would be great... But just as long as you aren't in the same district.
Or - how about a 30 minute drive apart. Still quick enough to meet somewhere for lunch or dinner every couple of weeks, then heading home...
see... perfection!
For now, e-mail and IM will have to do... cause I am too busy to take the day off to go see everyone... they aren't even in the same direction!
And by never I mean, there is the once or twice a year gathering that occurs at someone's house within a month of a specific holiday.
These are grand affairs... Lots of food, many people - the whole shebang... Basically hours of prep and clean-up after for the "host" family and travel time for everyone else.
And frankly... I am not a social person.
I mean, I like my family.
I just prefer them in small doses, and preferably just one or 2 members at a time.
My Mom is an hour away... And she is the closest.
She lives with my favourite aunt (and uncle, they are a pair! hehehe).
I IM her instead of chatting on the phone.
My brother is almost 4 hours away... That is a guaranteed overnight visit...
And my sister, recently home from Japan, is 2 hours north of Toronto - a little less if traffic is good. I haven't seen her since she got home, she's insanely busy.
It got me thinking... How close is too close?
Living in the same town, right across the street, you are almost obligated to see your parents daily... Or talk to them everyday... Which is great if you like them... But stopping in all the time, quick dinners, it starts to lose it's intimacy appeal.
Anything over an hour drive becomes an EVENT! It has to be planned, cleaning, someone is driving and there can't be a quick visit... It is a whole afternoon (OH trust me on this one - it's a guaranteed 3 hours) and the guilt if you try to leave before that - cause they never see you...
I figure - within a larger city would be great... But just as long as you aren't in the same district.
Or - how about a 30 minute drive apart. Still quick enough to meet somewhere for lunch or dinner every couple of weeks, then heading home...
see... perfection!
For now, e-mail and IM will have to do... cause I am too busy to take the day off to go see everyone... they aren't even in the same direction!
Dragonfly 5/23/2006 10:58:00 PM
3 Comments:
An afternoon is a short visit. Be glad that it's only a 4 hour car ride and not a 20+ hr plane ride, where going to visit means at least a month not just a few hours.
BG - do you really think that your family will come for a month - and you will actually see them... wait - you mean when you come "home"... hey - you could have stayed at my house... I would have let you drive me to and from work! hehehe
My mom is an hour away and I would kill to have her closer, I miss her every day. But Sam's parents are in town, about 6 blocks away and are wayyyy too close. I think parents should be at least 20 minutes away :) Because I'm guessing I wouldn't like it if my mom was right there either, no matter how much I love her!