Thursday, March 08, 2007
The End is at Hand - or is it?
I’m kind of disappointed.
I never thought I would feel like this.
I think the hypo-mania is fizzling out.
And I kind of miss it.
Although, having MY life back will be good - going to the grocery store when I want, buying something I need without having to ask for permission.
But the sheer happiness is ending. It’s not that I am not “happy” or emotional for that matter. It’s just the little things that give it away.
Like sleeping more - and longer. I got 8 hours sleep last night for the first time in ages, I got up to go to the bathroom and actually fell back asleep after. And that’s after having 3 naps yesterday.
I had interesting dreams last night.
In one I found perfume (Shishedo) the original in a gift box for $50 and I was yelling for my friend to bring me my credit card. The cashier/owner felt so bad he gave me a scrabble game too - it was very odd, but I love that perfume - it will always remind me of Phoenix.
The next dream I had I was either a babysitter or a nanny for a family of 7 or 8 kids, the parents went out and I was in charge. We played a treasure hunt game, and it was very weird in itself because it’s goal was to get to a certain part of the yard. Then I realized I was on vacation, visiting people I knew and playing. Work called and told me I had to be back the next day - 3 days earlier than planned or my job was at risk. So many things happened in that dream, I am almost glad I woke up.
Neither were scary, or unpleasant - just a little weird.
I have “CBT” therapy today, I think my mood and behaviour will be a big change from last week - I feel calmer now, more in control. Although I could sleep a little longer. I’m still tired.
I never thought I would feel like this.
I think the hypo-mania is fizzling out.
And I kind of miss it.
Although, having MY life back will be good - going to the grocery store when I want, buying something I need without having to ask for permission.
But the sheer happiness is ending. It’s not that I am not “happy” or emotional for that matter. It’s just the little things that give it away.
Like sleeping more - and longer. I got 8 hours sleep last night for the first time in ages, I got up to go to the bathroom and actually fell back asleep after. And that’s after having 3 naps yesterday.
I had interesting dreams last night.
In one I found perfume (Shishedo) the original in a gift box for $50 and I was yelling for my friend to bring me my credit card. The cashier/owner felt so bad he gave me a scrabble game too - it was very odd, but I love that perfume - it will always remind me of Phoenix.
The next dream I had I was either a babysitter or a nanny for a family of 7 or 8 kids, the parents went out and I was in charge. We played a treasure hunt game, and it was very weird in itself because it’s goal was to get to a certain part of the yard. Then I realized I was on vacation, visiting people I knew and playing. Work called and told me I had to be back the next day - 3 days earlier than planned or my job was at risk. So many things happened in that dream, I am almost glad I woke up.
Neither were scary, or unpleasant - just a little weird.
I have “CBT” therapy today, I think my mood and behaviour will be a big change from last week - I feel calmer now, more in control. Although I could sleep a little longer. I’m still tired.
Dragonfly 3/08/2007 09:17:00 AM
1 Comments:
Your true dreams will come true sooner than you will know. I Love you and I know you are strong enough to do anything and everything. Youa re my rock and YOU ROCK! I know how dreams can make you think of things in a different way as I dream a lot too. But remember reality is that you are a strong, inspirational, admirable, loving, caring, imaginative and empowering. And these are but a few of the amazing things I LOVE about you.
Take care...I LOVE YOU.
Take care...I LOVE YOU.
